A report stating that Elon Musk just announced that his newest startup Neuralink will be able to outfit humans with an additional brain chip preloaded with memories of the latest known U2 record made rounds on social media recently. Is this true? Straightforwardly, we note that this story originated from Hard Times, a punk news publication. Hence, it only means that it's a satire article.
Nonetheless, the article makes an interesting read and provides a glimpse of what the future music industry would look like when the ambitious brain chip project finally becomes a reality.
Below is a summary of the article:
The exciting music feature
According to Elon Musk, they needed a certain starter album in order for people to see how the brain chip works. He added that U2 is something that he considers a "really exciting" get for them. It was stated that the last time that they tried to do something just like that, it was actually universally loathed but he stated that it was only because of the fact that "people hate Apple" following with the statement "they love me".
This was said while ignoring a huge barrage of Joe Rogan telling him to get Bono along with the boys to bring legitimacy to the whole prospect of "leveling up" the complete human experience. The best part of this is that if you actually try to delete it, it will then download but another set of brand new U2 records and just multiplies like a kind of Hydra.
The negative comments about the chip
Although a lot of fans of the band did not seem to mind, a number of potential customers expressed that they were upset. According to music and tech connoisseur known as Ted Malpitch, it's already bad enough that the implant will actually likely track every one of their moves and also send maybe their darkest thoughts directly towards the government like a similar scene in a PhilipK. Dick's dystopian novel, but the whole thought of having U2 on a really constant loop in their head would even make him "want to jump off a cliff."
It was stated that there are always different downsides to advancement and that it actually seems like the largest downside there is the whole album that could easily not have been included. It was also stated that he heard that they might actually include a 90-minute Bono speech about his takes on climate change as part of the upgrade package. He then described this as "hell on Earth."
Listening to a "memory"
U2 has expressed their excitement regarding the whole project and confirms that their record will only be exclusive to this new platform.According to Bono, they are not putting the song on Spotify or anything else and it will only be available as a sort of "memory" on Neuralink.
It was also stated that the listening experience is actually just an illusion within the brain and that they're releasing the record quite directly to the illusion. They then proceeded to state that you don't actually listen to U2 with your ears anymore but rather with your mind. The whole upcoming U2 experience is said to be a feeling of existential abstraction and that they will probably just reissue it on iTunes after maybe six months with a selection of acoustic tracks just for good measure.
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Written by Urian Buenconsejo
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